The Life-Changing Magic of Doing What Works for YOU — Marie Kondo Book Review

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, the most difficult part about tidying up is not knowing where to start. I often feel the same way with writing something new… I can’t tell you how many times I tried to write this post, and to be honest, I still don’t really know where to begin. I also don’t know where the last month went, but we’re not ready for that conversation. By we, I mean me and my mental sanity.

Anyway, this post has been ridiculously long overdue (I’m talking Marie Kondo would never approve of how long), and it’s likely going to be just as long of a blog post, because there’s a lot to unpack… This time, not physically, but mentally, guided by some of the author’s wise words.

Without further hesitation, let’s go back a few years and see what happens…

Winter 2021. Much like this Summer (and most Summers) minus the obvious weather change, I once again don’t know where the time went, but every day had been unBoxing Day since my family and I had moved cities a few months prior. I remember holding off on the unpacking for so long, for reasons I didn’t even know at the time. We never did finish unpacking… As it turns out the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and life has an interesting way of making that known.

While many boxes remained half open, it was somewhere around this time that I closed the giant box of doubt I was holding on to, and instead opened a book (and my mind) to trusting the process during the chaos of moving — during the chaos of everything.

“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up”. That was the book I opened, found in one of the few boxes I actually went through. I remember hesitating to read it at first, because I thought it would distract me from getting things done. This is kind of ironic when I think about it now. Anyway, my intuition told me to just read it, and thankfully so, because not only did it teach me the ins and outs of everything cleaning related, it saved me from having to unpack everything, only to repack everything… I’ll get into that later.

Now, most of you are probably wondering, “Was this book actually life changing?” In many ways, YES. However, I didn’t resonate with absolutely everything in it. I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about reading it though. The book, itself does not claim to be life-changing; it’s the idea within the book that there’s more to maintaining a clean space, and the effects it can have on our overall well being. This goes hand in hand with what the author refers to as the KonMari method, which is both the highlight and foundation of her practice. I found her approach to this refreshing, as most books and/or articles I’ve read on cleaning / (re)organzing are very surface level. I like to think of this book as more of a deep clean, which is what I really needed in my life at the time (even if I didn’t apply every aspect of it to my life).

In the next paragraphs and in no particular order (sorry Marie), I’m going to share my takeaways from this book and it’s sequel Spark Joy, followed by the very few things I didn’t resonate with and why.

Keep things because you love them — not “just because”

Quoted from page 105 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up

Even though I’m OCD and admire the idea of minimalism, saving things “just because” use to be my toxic trait. After reading this book though, that thankfully shifted for me. Now anything that doesn’t “spark joy” gets TFO. No exaggeration, I donated half my wardrobe in just this year alone and I’ve never felt better. I also managed to rid one large box of books I’ll likely never read again, and two larger boxes of miscellaneous items I’ll probably never use again. Out of the many things I bid farewell to, the misc items were the easiest and most relieving. In fact, this is the first time I’ve even thought of those items since getting rid of them and I couldn’t even tell you most of what they were, because I don’t remember. I think that’s something that gets so overlooked with random odds and ends around the house… They still take up space, contribute to clutter, and (at least in my experience) often aren’t needed or missed. Marie Kondo explains this perfectly in the pages below, and it’s thanks to her that I was able to let go of these random things that were doing literally nothing for me (or anyone else in our home).

“Your living space affects your body”

Quoted from page 193 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up

Do you agree? Because I’m almost certain I could feel these words when I first read them.

⁣⁣All too often I feel like I can’t fully relax until my living space is immaculate. And all too often I hear people arguing over clutter not being good for the mind vs. “it’s okay if not everything gets done in one day”. I believe both statements to be true. I believe it doesn’t always have to be one over the other. I believe balance is the solution. I believe shifting focus into sorting out priorities is more important than sorting a pantry or closet, and if the pantry and/or closet really is the main priority, well then f*ck me, so be it. However, this isn’t solely about what I believe. Just throwing my two cents (and a few more odds and ends) out there. Also, this isn’t to say I don’t agree with the author’s stance…

On this particular page, Marie Kondo talks about how “detoxing” items and/or unwanted items in our homes / lives often has a detox effect on our bodies as well. While this may not ring true for everyone, I without a doubt see truth in it for myself. Anytime I clean / reorganize / declutter things in my home, I naturally desire to make better choices for my body. It’s as if the “out of sight, out of mind” effect creates more space for the mental clarity needed to drive those healthier choices. I’m here for it.

Is it true that tidying increases good fortune?

Quoted from page 196 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up

I feel like this particular statement kind of goes hand in hand with the previous one. Though her research is limited on this particular concept, Marie Kondo explains how some people believe that creating an organized space increases good fortune (otherwise known as Feng Shui in Japan). This (to me) comes across as a form manifestation, which I personally believe in. And by manifestation, I don’t mean the insatiable desire to obtain something and thinking that by cleaning a room or throwing a coin into the the wishing well, it will suddenly, magically fall into your lap. I more so mean it as a desire strong enough to put the work in, but in a way that doesn’t cause burnout. I often find achieving a goal such as this is easier to do when in a pleasing environment. The more inviting my space is, the more likely I am to think clearly and welcome in the beautiful things life has to offer. That good old that mind, body, soul connection, you know?

The best way to store bags is in another bag.

Quoted from page 150 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up

While this may not seem as “life changing” as the statements I shared above, it’s still one I very much appreciate. In fact, this is something I’ve been doing for years (prior to even diving into this book), and I can assure you, it is absolutely the best way for bag storage. I mean, isn’t that the whole purpose of a bag anyway?

Before I started doing this, I had an entire drawer dedicated to my extra bags, etc, which became a problem for so many reasons. Not only was it a complete misuse of space, it contributed to all the clothing clutter in my other drawers. Now, I typically keep all my day-to-day bags (totes, etc.) hanging where I can easily access them. Inside each, I’ll likely have 1 - 2 smaller bags neatly tucked inside that I can take along with me, or simply remove if I don’t need them that day. The few purses I own also often carry my extra wallets and wristlets that I use on occasion. Oh and a major plus, extra drawer space for clothing!

Shoutout to Marie Kondo for her words of affirmation in this category!

Storing books

Page 86 - 95 of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up

Growing up with two major book worms as parents, I naturally developed a love books as well, and perhaps a little too much... What I mean by this is, although I do read lots of books, I at some point developed the habit of collecting too many at once, then becoming too overwhelmed to read any of them for prolonged periods of time. This obviously became a problem, however, I thankfully found a solution via the KonMari method.

When it comes to book storage and organization, Marie Kondo suggests to start by putting all books on to the floor, then sorting them into categories. I enjoyed doing this, as it allowed me to admire all the potential my bookshelves had to offer.

After sorting, departure makes way, which involves picking up every book to see if it “sparks joy”. Any that don’t have this effect can either be donated or resold. And just to be clear “spark joy” doesn’t necessarily equate to “Oh, maybe I’ll read it one day”, etc. The author makes a good point on this, stating something along the lines of “If you haven’t already read it, then you likely won’t read it” (at least anytime soon).

Next is taking all the books that do spark joy and organizing them in a way that also sparks joy. I love the author’s approach on this, as she acknowledges that everyone has different ways they may want to sort their books, whether it be by genre, author, size, colour, etc.

I personally like to separate my soft covers from my hardcovers first and try to keep authors together. Then I go by size (height specifically), followed by genre within that size, and in certain areas, I’ll sort by colour. As for display, Marie Kondo suggests placing books upright. However, she doesn’t make this seem like the be all, end all of book display. While I do stand a lot of my books upright, I also stack some, and some I even face outwards, especially if the cover is particularly eye catching.

Another thing Marie Kondo suggests (if you have a lot of books) is to not display them all on one shelf, but rather have separate spaces for different books. An example of this could be a large bookcase in the living room with decor items that compliment it, then another smaller bookshelf and/or book rack in a bedroom or hallway, kids room, etc. I really love Marie’s way of thinking here, as I believe too many books on one shelf can often look cluttered and cause feelings of overwhelm. We currently have 3 book dispays in our space — a large bookcase in the back room / reading nook and 2 smaller shelves in the kids’ room. Each room also has a cute little cali-boho style macrame magazine holder that sits neatly on the ground for a nice added display. I’ll be sure to feature these in another post.

DON’T LEAVE TIDYING UP UNTIL AFTER MOVING

Quoted from page 19 of Spark Joy

I think there’s a reason the author put this in all caps. As someone who has done this both ways, I can undoubtedly say that tidying BEFORE moving is the way to go. It’s SO much easier to unpack and put things away when everything is already sorted. As if moving in itself isn’t already stressful enough. Seriously though, why not save yourself the headache of having to reorganize everything when you should be looking forward to settling in? Let’s not forget getting rid of unnecessary items before moving too. If you hold off on this, you are really only creating more work for yourself by needing to pack more things, only to get rid of them soon after.

When we moved cities the first time, we rushed in packing our belongings, so much that the thought of unpacking any of it was daunting, rather than relieving. In fact (as mentioned before), we avoided unpacking for so long that we never did fully unpack. Because of this, we never truly felt settled in the place we were in at the time.

When we moved again just months later, everything we did unpack was sure to be sorted first. I can’t tell you how much better the moving experience was that time around. Still stressful, yes, but at least we were met with the feeling of relief once all our stuff was moved. I don’t think I have ever unpacked anything so fast in my entire life after that.

Marie Kondo has some even more beneficial things to point out in the words below when it comes to tidying up before moving.

Don’t force people to tidy if they don’t want to

Quotes from page 257 of Spark Joy

As someone who is OCD (as previously mentioned), this something I really really struggle with. However, after reading this book, I have begun to let go of what I simply cannot change in other people’s organization methods within the same household. My husband tends to create piles of things around the house, where as I like everything to have a place. In fact, if it doesn’t have a place, I want nothing to do with it. Marie Kondo has some good food for thought on this. Now, do the little piles around the house drive me insane? Well, it use to and sometimes still does, but I notice when I put more focus on my own things and what I have the freedom to organize, my husband’s little piles seem a little smaller and don’t bother me as much. Now, this isn’t to say someone should be taking up every space in the house with clutter. However, I do believe with respectful communication and willingness to compromise, everyone has the ability to spark joy in a shared space and/or household.

I should also note that when it comes to kids not wanting to tidy, I think strong and consistent encouragement is still very much needed. When I find it difficult to get my kids to pick up after themselves, I try to make it “fun” by creating a game out of it and/or putting on some upbeat music. Sometimes we’ll do competitions to see who can pick up the most toys before the song ends. Of course, this can be hit and miss, but overall, this is what works best for us. However, every household is different and sometimes it just takes some time to figure out what works.

Teach your children how to fold

Quoted from page 260 of Spark Joy

Another thing that has worked really well in our household, is allowing our kids to help with tasks when they are interested or ask to help, instead of kindly declining their offer. Even if the task seems difficult for them, we try to find a way to have them contribute, as this boosts their confidence and teaches independence.

Both of my daughters had a very early interest in helping fold laundry and I’ve always welcomed their help by first showing them how I do it, while also allowing them to do it their own way, and making sure to express my appreciation for their help. Does this mean laundry is always done on time and is an absolute breeze to get through? No, not always, but honestly, it isn’t all that bad either. A lot of the time it’s actually quite fun, and I think allowing our kids to help from their initial curiosity is what makes it so. Marie Kondo has an interesting take on this, as she believes it’s important to teach kids how to fold and how mastering this task can determine the motivation to carry on tidying. I really do think she’s onto something here.

Kitchen Komono

Making mealtime spark joy

Quoted from page 168 of Spark Joy

The kitchen is my favourite place to be and I obviously enjoy it even more when it’s tidy. Because this space means so much to me, I really appreciated what the author had to say in this chapter.

Rather than “junk” Marie Kondo uses the term “komono”, which translates to miscellaneous items. When in the kitchen, she refers to this as kitchen komono. The reason for not using the word “junk” is the belief that anything worth keeping should be of value. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more with this. Junk drawers (IMO) are an absolute waste of space. Here Marie shifts focus into making the most of a space, which includes letting go of items that no longer (or very seldom) serve purpose. Then comes compartmentalization for the things worth keeping. By doing these things, you are creating a more delightful environment in the kitchen, therefore making mealtime spark joy!

Now, before you all give me grief for not putting the above quotes in order like the author would likely prefer, keep in mind, these are just simply my thoughts on her words. Might I add, I have more thoughts below, only this time with the things that didn’t resonate...

The idea of speaking to each item before letting it go

While I do understand the idea around this, I can’t bring myself to physically speak to any inanimate objects I decide to get rid of. This is nothing against the author, it just doesn’t feel natural for me to do this. Besides, I feel that when I let go of things, my appreciation is automatically expressed internally (and that’s enough for me). Whether expressed out loud or in a quieter way, I think being thankful for each item fulfilling it’s purpose (until it could no more) is what Marie Kondo was primarily getting with this concept anyway.

Sort by category, not by location

Quoted from page 26 of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up

This is a concept that the author seems very keen on, and before I go any further, I want to make clear that I don’t entirely disagree. It makes sense to organize by category, and I while I did attempt to do this, it didn’t quite work for me in the way I had hoped it would. I will say, I enjoyed this method with sorting my books, but with everything else, it felt like I was doing too many things in too many different places, which caused me to lose focus and feel overwhelmed. I realize this is almost certainly a me problem though. Factor in 3 kids running around and the layout of the shared space, it just makes more sense (for me) to go room by room. Sorry Marie.

Also, I know I said in the beginning of this post that the most difficult part of tidying up is not knowing where to start, and so naturally you would think I’d follow Marie Kondo’s advice on this. But no. While her strict order of what to sort and when is something I admire, it reminded me that I’m also strict in the order I do things. I think it’s just that initial push that I need to get things going, but once I’m going, I’m gone.

Okay, so as it turns out, my critiques on this book are less than few. However, it did take me longer than the suggested timeline for a total declutter and reorganization. That’s on me though, and like the many items I’ve gone through, I’m willing to let that go.

Closing Highlights

It’s been two years now since we moved back to the city, and thanks to the KonMari method, we were unpacked within the first month. It all happened so fast, but through all the chaos, I remember feeling content for the first time in a long time, for reasons I didn’t even know at the time — a familiar feeling, but different.  Since then, I’ve continued to discover, not only what those reasons are / were, but what they truly mean.  And while I wouldn’t necessarily say that this book helped me realize these things head on, it without a doubt confirmed them for me, and for that I am thankful.  It also helped with the little details of (re)organization that often get disregarded, but actually make a huge difference.

Speaking of details, I highly recommend taking notes on the author’s second book, Spark Joy, as it beautifully accentuates everything from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up and serves as a great guide for home upkeep and continuing to stay organized.

Have you read any of Marie Kondo’s books? If so, I’d love to know your thoughts and what worked for you!